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Das Land der aufgehenden Sonne ist nicht nur für Pokémon, Dragon Ball und Co.
When we’re younger, we’re encouraged to take a paint-by-numbers approach to life: go to school, find a person, get married and have kids. I definitely didn’t consider the possibility that I may never find the type of love where you tell your mother and girlfriends, all starry-eyed: “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” And just when I was beginning to think that maybe I was too broken and cynical to allow stars to get anywhere near my eyes, I met someone who I completely fell for. It meant that I was capable of having those types of feelings for another person. But underneath the glib question were the entire contents of my insides. I didn’t hear from him the next day, which was unusual given how frequently we had communicated the week prior to the date. So, rather than continue to play the game of “who texts first,” I messaged him and said that I got the sense he wasn’t interested.

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I’d venture to guess that your sex-oriented guys feel the same way. You shouldn’t quit because single men your age want sex and more time.

You should just find a guy who is looking for a Brady Bunch family, who sees sex as the icing on the cake instead of the cake itself.

I am seriously at the point of giving up on the whole dating thing…

Is it too much of an ask that I could actually meet someone who can see me as a woman, and not just as mother or worse, a bit of bedroom fun? I know Everest is high, but SOME people get up the damn thing, don’t they?

Dear Christina, Before I give you the pep talk you need, let me first acknowledge the painful truths that you’ve eloquently outlined above. Having four kids under the age of 9 is a huge handicap.

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I guess I must be in reasonable shape because NOBODY can guess I’ve even had four kids, or that I’m even 34 (I get asked out by guys in their early 20s- I feel like I should read them a story and tuck them into bed… we usually go on a few dates, everything is going wonderful… I’m not talking about church bells, but just to an actual relationship. I am sick of being treated like a piece of ass, and treated like I must be desperate because I have kids.

So instead of giving up on the whole thing – which, as you know – is incredibly shortsighted, given that you have 50 more years on this earth, how about you change focus?

Middle-aged divorced men understand what it’s like to be you.

I was married for ten years, have four beautiful boys under 9 and have a very fulfilling and successful career.

My life is happy, but I really would love to share it with someone…